OF Disappointments and Unfairness of Life

Disappointments have a special way of showing up just when you don't need them most. That is the first thought to cross my mind as I watched the train leave the platform. We were supposed to be on that train; however, we could only watch it with dismay from across the tracks. It was a holiday that we had been looking forward to for a very long time; I kept thinking as we dragged our bags back home. If only we had left five minutes earlier, if only there wasn't that much traffic on the road, if only the cabbie had taken a different road; if only...this hadn't happened to me.

Even if this had to happen, I wish it wouldn't have happened today. No!! how could we have missed THIS trip!! The mind wouldn't stop calling this unfair and curse life for being unjust at times. 'At times?!?!'...a second thought smirked its way in. 'Are you not lucky that life is unjust to you only at times. Don't you feel lucky to have so many things come so easily to you?' An image hurried across my mind.

Every time I passed through the market to pick to the missus, I saw this couple sit near a turning. Weary faced, probably in their 80s, this couple sat by the road selling petty things like combs & draw strings; things that don't cost more than 5-10 bucks and things that you would buy only occasionally. How much would they be making daily? 50-60 bucks? or 100 at best? I wonder how fair life would feel if at 80 you are to sit on the road daily to earn 100 bucks in an expensive city like Mumbai.

A few days back, while driving back home from work, I saw a lady walk out from a store with her bags (I guessed she probably worked there); she seemed perturbed. On second look, I realised that she was crying. What must have happened? Did she lose her job?, Did someone betray her? or Was she called home for an emergency? I don't know what it was that she was crying about, but if she was crying in the middle of the road, it must have been something very serious and sad. And here I was ready to break in to tears for having missed a holiday train!!

About 10 years back, while waiting for a train, I saw a large crowd gathered on the opposite platform. Curious, I walked a little further before I was horrified with what I saw. A lady lied on the tracks, split in to two by a train. There were bags scattered around her, and you could see that one contained gift boxes and one contained sweets. Looked like the lady was late from work, so in a hurry she chose to cross the tracks rather than use an overhead bridge. Wonder what the family would have gone through on hearing the news; wonder how the kids would have felt. It was Diwali the next day!

A lot of other gruelling memories came across. That of my wife's colleague's sister who was burnt alive over dowry a few years back, those of the many women who had to sell their flesh to raise their children, those of the little girls who were sold by their parents so as to raise their brothers...and so on...Sometimes life makes you realise that you are such a small speck in the universe; small disappointments make you so sad, whereas for some, their entire life is one big disappointment.

'Aur Bhi Kitne Gham Hain Duniya Mein Rone Ko, Tera Gham Bhi Kya Gham Hain!!"